It’s too late for my child to build a secure attachment to me.
It's never too late to build a secure attachment. While building a secure attachment with your child is critical in the early stage of your child's life, it is not too late to start trying to build a secure attachment with your child or teen now. Creating a connection between parents and their children does not happen instantly. Attachment develops over time. Focus on:
- Accepting your child’s feelings
- Understanding your child’s cues and style of communication
- Creating a foundation of security and trust
- Providing consistent and responsive parenting
- Connecting with your child through laughter and play, physical comfort, and touch
Crying doesn’t always mean something is wrong. I should let my baby “cry it out” sometimes so that she learns to be independent.
When a baby cries, it is clearly a cue that something is wrong. Picking your child up or tending to a need reassures your baby that you are available and responsive. This step reinforces to your baby that you are emotionally attuned and available, which leads to a secure attachment.
It is impossible to communicate with my baby until he learns how to talk.
Newborns communicate right from birth. Babies signal their willingness to interact and engage as well as indicate that they need a break from ongoing stimulation. Body language, sounds, early words, and facial expressions serve as theig. Picking your child up or tending to a need reassures your baby that you are available r communication tools.
If I hold my baby or respond to his cries too much, I will spoil him.
Because an infant’s brain and body systems are relatively immature at birth, a baby has very little capacity to be on his own and needs your loving touch and support. Studies spanning the last several decades demonstrate substantial lifelong advantages in physical, mental, social, and emotional health for children who receive consistent, warm, positive, and developmentally appropriate attention and care.
The more time I spend with my child and the more close contact we have, the more attached she will be to me.
For babies and children to develop secure attachments, they need to know that the adults in their lives are available, reliable, and responsive. Children form attachments to multiple adults in their lives, and it doesn’t require 24/7 attention or constant physical contact. There is some evidence that the quality of interactions is more important than the quantity of time spent. For example, one study found that babies whose mothers worked at home had lower than expected attachment compared to mothers who went back to work after a six-week maternity leave.