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Is there anything good about anger?

Anger can be uncomfortable. Our culture’s view of anger may contribute to our difficulties with this complicated emotion. We often regard anger as the ugly stepchild of emotions, making it less acceptable to express than sadness or anxiety. The result: we don’t always learn how to handle our anger constructively. Yet, when managed with care and attention, anger can be a force for reflection and even the impetus for major breakthroughs in how we feel and live our lives.

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5 Tips To Escape An Abusive Relationship

If you or someone you care about is in an abusive relationship, there are ways to break away and stop the cycle of domestic violence.

I Strive for Better Control of my Temper

One of my more disagreeable faults is my irritability. I lose my temper easily; I “speak in a mean voice” as my daughters describe it; I become impatient and act annoyed; I feel anxious about something, so I snap at my family; I feel criticized, so I lash out.

Getting Control of Your Anger

Many people believe the myth of “accumulating anger:” if they don’t express their anger, somehow it will “build up” and they will develop high blood pressure, have a heart attack or a stroke. There are many terms to describe this belief. We speak of “pent up,” anger that can “boil over,” or “leak out.” Moreover, we can “explode” – thus somehow “releasing” the anger and freeing us. (I hereby offer $10,000 for a quart of anger!) Expressing anger in an angry way, however, makes nearly any situation worse! Others often react to our anger, rather than the message we wish to impart.

Resentment Part 2

In last week’s post “The toxic (and intoxicating) effects of resentment” I introduced the idea that resentments can be difficult to let go of because they not only have negative effects but also they can serve the purpose of feeling powerful. Resentments can range from small ones, such as the person who cut you off in traffic or the bigger ones such as the person who abused you or the coworker who had you fired. Sometimes our resentments are not directed at any one individual but rather an institution such as a company, university, government agency or even an entire religion.

The toxic (and intoxicating) effects of resentment

Colombia is a country with frequent kidnappings, often with tragic results.

Such was the case of a father who reported his 11-month-old son kidnapped, then joined in the frantic search for his missing child. The outcome was terrible: The child was found to have been killed by his own father.

Bios

Mary

Mary was born in Colombia and grew up in Queens, NY. She is a film-maker. She has been fascinated with film from an early...

Robert Allan, Ph.D.

Dr. Allan is a clinical psychologist with practice specialties in cardiac psychology, and stress and anger management. He holds appointments as Clinical Assistant Professor...

W. Robert Nay, Ph.D.

Dr. Nay is a Clinical Associate Professor and a licensed Clinical Psychologist in private practice in McLean, Virginia, and Annapolis, Maryland. Dr. Nay has...

Paul Ekman, Ph.D.

Dr. Ekman is a Professor Emeritus at the University of California, San Francisco. He has been conducting research on nonverbal behavior since 1956, with...

Randolph M. Nesse, M.D.

Dr. Nesse is a Professor of Psychiatry, a Professor of Psychology, a Research Professor at the Research Center for Group Dynamics at the Institute...

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